Thought Crimes

Our college fest is going on as I write this. Before some smart Alec gets incorrect ideas regarding what I’m doing at my room while the fest is in full swing, stop ideating at this very minute. It’s 12.30 am and even by our liberal standards, rather late for anything to be going on. The intoxicated star attraction has just been rushed off-stage by none other than iPrond (take a bow) to prevent him from being manhandled by the stern security men. All in all, good times. Add a pleasant influx of the fairer sex, and the times get better. Lefty the wingman emerges from the shadows and prepares to improve the life of some lucky soul. Being a thinking wingman though, I couldn’t help making a couple of observations. This post is regarding them.

First of all, it makes wingmanning really difficult if more than one girl chooses to hang out with one guy. Didn’t anyone hear that three was a crowd? Plus, there are more eligible guys just waiting to be introduced by the suave wingman, if only the thorn would detach itself. I know how the system works. Boy meets girl. Laws of attraction come into play. Girl’s friend attaches herself to the wannabe couple as a chaperone like figure to help break the ice, and people live miserably ever after. The only problem in this tried and tested system is that the girl’s friend is taken out of the pool of ‘single’ girls that guys can hit on and instead gets the protection of some Johnny who is, in nine cases out of ten, taller and bigger than the wingman.

This led me to the wiser observation- on how the system is never inverted, i.e. you’ll never find a guy filling in as the unwanted third man. Except of course if you study in my college or one of its sister institutes, in which case you’ll be hard put to find (a) any thing that looks remotely like a girl and (b) an (a) which is not surrounded by a gaggle of males. I pity you. But coming back to the point. If there are single girls looking for prospective mates, they never have a problem with these prospective mates playing helpful pal and sheltering under some Amazon’s shadow. Which made me realize how simpler things are for girls. And a tale that a dear friend told me confirmed this.

Dear friend and some dear friends of his wanted to go party at some disc on a weeknight. Fair enough, one would think. There must be plenty of watering holes which would welcome a dozen hearty drinkers with open arms. How wrong one is! The same places which had rolled out the red carpet during ‘happier’ hours now gave the proverbial cold shoulder. “Sorry sir, Stag entry not allowed,” was the standard answer. In some cases, “You can come in and drink sir, but you can’t dance,” was the trying-to-be-helpful response. Dear friend and his dear friends shuddered at the thought of being treated like second rate citizens and declined that latter offer immediately. Like all stories of mine, there was a happy ending. The stags managed to find an obliging moto-bar and spent the best part of that night spending the hard-earned taxpayer’s money that their parents had accumulated. But mention the incident and indignation is visible on their faces. This kind of thing, One strongly feels, should not be allowed. On a weeknight, for crying out loud.

On making further diligent enquiries, it was found that these clubs are the epitome of chivalry. They not only allow single girls to enter, they even encourage them. Entry for them, is free of charge. But this is unfair not just to the shunned stags, but even to the very girls the club is trying to be helpful to. Let’s face it, not all girls are there just to booze or have a girls’ night out. There will definitely be a few who are looking to meet a pair of eyes across a crowded room. Under the current system, woe betide the pair of eyes that meets them. They’ll probably be gouged out by the hands of the lady with whose eyes the earlier pair should have been making contact. In other words, misery, violence, unpleasantness and possible blindness.

So now that I’ve made my point, and club managements who read this have decided to change their sexist laws, I think I’ll update you of what’s been happening ‘pichle saat dino me’ before I turn in. I spent 4 beautiful days at Venky’s, debating and thanking God for His creations. While falling in love several times, I remarked to L.O.V.E. that I might be partial to small noses. Returning to R, I conducted what I consider is the best quiz I’ve made so far. It was the official insti quiz and Rapu won it in style, truly deservedly after having finished a close second to greater geeks for the last 2 years. Nice going, mate.

That’s all for now. Think about what I’ve said earlier, all of you. Nighty night.

# posted by Saagar @ 1:06 am 6 Comments