Thought Crimes

It is said that every person has a goal that he/she seeks to reach. Many people spend their entire lives looking for their goal or trying to set one for themselves. This, they believe, is the reason for their existence- their small role in the huge Master Plan. Some people are shown their goals by good Samaritans, other stumble upon it by chance. For me, ever since our move to the National Capital Region, the goal has been loud and clear- find a joint in Delhi that serves as good Chinese food as the Tangra Chain in Calcutta.

For those unfortunate enough never to have visited the City of Joy, let me explain in greater detail. If there’s a paradise on Earth, it exists in the narrow smelly alleys of the Capital of West Bengal, home to the Tangra Chain of Chinese Restaurants. The food there is heavenly. Words can never suffice to describe how satisfying a gastronomic experience it is. People (read Lefty) have been known to go without dessert or even breakfast the next day just to preserve that amazing taste. And just like heaven, Tangra is extremely difficult to reach. Only those who possess an unbelievably strong desire to devour Chinese food are allowed into the hallowed portals. The road to Tangra is perilous. It is narrow, dirty and filled with law-breaking ricks. Once you reach the general area, the strong smell of seafood being cooked can knock the best of us out. Vegetarians fear to tread within 10 miles of it and even hearty non-vegetarians can have a trying time. Once in though, it is all more than worth it.

There are various restaurants in Tangra. It is difficult of decide the best one. If my memory serves me right, I have been to Kim-Fa, Lily and Marlboro with Kim-Fa being the first and the favourite. Tangra has had a major role in my personality development (so you know who to blame). It was there that I discovered that my favourite dish was Garlic Chicken. It was there that I had my first Golden Fried Prawns. And I believe that it was in Tangra that I took to Chicken Sweet Corn Soup as a duck takes to water. It was also in Tangra that I, along with everyone else present that day, discovered how much I could eat when I wanted to.

After my goal was made clear to me, I set about, with great enthusiasm, to reach it. I tried 2 Golden Dragons in South Delhi but they fell quite short of expectation. I then went to Bercos Garden in Noida. The ambience there would give one million Tangras a run for their money (not that that’s saying much). It’s a wonderful place for a family lunch/dinner. The music is good, the gardens well kept and the food superb. There’re just 2 flaws- the minor one is that they take too long to seat you and the major one is that it’s just not Tangra. Fortune Cookie in Sector 18 was just a tad above the ordinary- extremely disappointing considering the fame that it enjoys.

After long last, it seemed I had found the best Chinese joint in Delhi, if not equal to Tangra’s impossible standards. Chopsticks in Ansal Plaza and its sister restaurant- Bamboo Shoots in Sector 18. Both these places served by far the best Chinese I’d had in Delhi. For a long time, I would tell one and all who cared for my free advice that Chopsticks and Bamboo Shoots were the Places to Be At. However, these two excellent joints were also surpassed the other day. It was my mother’s birthday. I guess there was a lot I should have written that day for her. I also guess that there was even more that my mother would have wanted me to write about her. My only defense is that this is a public blog. And yes, I am a procrastinator of the worst kind.

Coming back to Chinese food, we went to Tea House of the August Moon in the Taj Grand to celebrate me mum’s happy birthday. And it was then that I realized the quest might have ended after all. The food was superb. English adjectives can never to justice to it and I don’t know enough French to describe it well. The Rice noodles were so fine that the made Hakka noodles look like great coils of rope. Chicken with Asparagus tasted delightfully similar to Garlic Chicken. The asparagus part however, turned out to be disappointing. I’d read a Somerset Maugham short story- The Luncheon, a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, where a waiter in a posh French Restaurant had described their asparagus as being so soft so tender that it was a delight. Ever since that day, I had wanted to sink my teeth into that so soft so tender asparagus. When the momentous occasion did come however, I felt a bit let down. Asparagus turned out to be just another green vegetable, maybe tastier than most. It was soft enough, but I couldn’t see what the fuss was about. Give me baked beans any day.

The high point of the quest ending meal was the Shredded Lamb. They’d been fried to perfect crispness. The seasoning made the outer part crisp and on the sweetish side. The core however, had the delicious taste of well cooked meat. Wordsworth might have written a poem on how scrumptious it was.

Since most of this post is about Chinese Food, I must digress and let you know that there’s an amazing place in Mussourie- Kalsang Friends which serves excellent Chinese and Tibetan food, in gargantuan quantities at amazingly low prices. A testimony to that is that 7 hearty eaters had a huge meal there, soup and starters included, for a mere 880 bucks. The same food in Delhi would cost around 250 per head.

Coming back to the Tea House, it seemed now that my quest was finally over. Here, in the Taj was a restaurant that could proudly boast that it had matched Tangra, maybe even surpassed it. But I found myself unwilling to bestow that mantle upon it. Then it dawned on me that the charm of Tangra was perhaps, not just in the food but also in the memories that shrouded it. Tangra was, after all, the first place that I had such amazing Chinese food. There are certain memories that remain with us forever- the fist visit to a foreign country, the first movie watched in a theatre, the first bite of Ferrero Rocher etc. I guess that Tangra is one of them.

Added to it is the fact that those visits to Calcutta were some of the happiest days of my childhood. They were those visits that made Calcutta my favourite city. Every visit brought something new with it- Nicco Park, Science City, swimming at Tollygunge, the Metro. Calcutta was where I had my first Hot Chocolate Fudge. It was so huge I couldn’t even finish it. Every new visit also meant that my Mami, who I’ve heard used to make elastic rotis when she got married, had made another significant step towards becoming the expert Chef that she now is. The proof of the pudding naturally lay in the eating and I saw to it that I got a lot of that. Calcutta also meant that Mama had chalked 5 more places for us to visit and that my cousin was a bit older and exponentially more adorable.

I have to accept that my quest might have been over ages ago- at Chopsticks, Bercos, Golden Dragon or even at Fortune Cookie. I still persist in maintaining that it ended at the Tea House. And come to think of it, this entire post could have been encapsulated in 3 lines (all credits to MasterCard)

Chinese Food at Kalsang and Friends- 900 Rupees

Chinese Food at Bercos Garden- 1500 Rupees

Chinese Food at Tea House of the August Moon- 5000 Rupees

Chinese Food at Tangra- PRICELESS.

There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s MasterCard.

And it’s accepted at all the aforementioned restaurants.